We can't all be good at everything

While browsing the website of my (all girls) secondary school, I came across this statement:

"Whether your daughter wants to be an architect, airline pilot, ambassador or actuary, she needs to know that nothing can stand in her way. We believe that this School sends that message to girls every day."

Which is a very nice thought and something that most parents want to believe for their child but it is actually harmful in the long run. Kids leave school thinking that they can "be" anything that they want to be and that "nothing can stand in their way". However they need to learn early on that it is impossible to be good at everything. We have raised a generation of over-confident adults with high aspirations and delusions that they will all become the top of their field one day. If that was the case, then no one would clean toilets, pack our Amazon orders, serve us in McDonald's drive-thru or hand out flyers on the high street.

I have been struggling for years to find satisfaction in my work because I still haven't found what I'm good at. I have skills, transferable skills as they say, and enough job experience to secure and maintain a job but that isn't enough. However I have learnt recently that I have no idea what I am good at: Conflict resolution, developing ideas, being inclusive etc. I don't know myself in that way. I had aspirations to become an Event Manager one day and maybe even Head of Events in the future as this is what we are taught is the natural progression for when you work hard.

It has been a painful process to learn that that will never happen for me. After applying for and being unsuccessful in a number of applications for Events Manager roles, my journey ended with my Director at the time simply explaining that they were not confident in giving me that role as they didn't want me to feel uncomfortable, that I would be out of my depth taking on that responsibility level and line management. That news was devastating because I felt entitled to the promotion; that it was my reward for all the hard work I had put in for my role and career.

I will encourage my son in everything that he shows an interest in and help to build up the areas where he's strong but I also want him to truly know himself and that means knowing his limitations as well. To understand his strengths and weaknesses from the beginning I hope that he will not have to experience all his dreams being realised as slowly as walking through treacle. Instead, that he will have a better understanding of where his skills, talent and knowledge could best to used, setting himself up for a more fulfilling and realistic future where he could train to become an astronaut or work in the control room.

As for me, I will now start from scratch, finding out how I can best apply my strengths and passions either within Events or another career and slowly piece together my ego and confidence which has taken a knock over the years. I will be taking the 16 personalities test and Strength Finders survey which I hope will point me towards careers, workplaces or styles of work that best suit me.